Home » Just because... » I’m about to show you how dumb I am.

I’m about to show you how dumb I am.

Ok.

So I’m gonna just go ahead and type this all out without doing any research – With no clue as to what I’m actually talking about. I think I’ll end up with a point to it all…Just stay with me. And to all of you seriously smart people in my life – I mean, *cough Melissa *cough, you know who you are;) This is me telling you how much I didn’t learn in school…But I can doodle you a masterpiece – Believe that.

On with it, Becky…

So I’ve been bouncing a quite basic concept around in my mind for a bit. It started when I decided that I have too much stuff…and that I can lower my stress level by minimizing said stuff. And because my brain really never shuts up, I started thinking about stuff in general…

A thought that boggled my mind just came to me in bold print,

THERE IS NOTHING NEW.

Say what?!?

I was sitting on my couch, with a cup of coffee, of course…staring out my back windows and just trying to decide if this bold thought was true or not.

I asked myself,

Does matter multiply?”

Or are we working with the same stuff…over and over again? See – If I had a mind for science, I’d maybe know there was a theory, or three, that proved me wrong or right. I watch quite a bit of The Big Bang Theory – But I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with String Theory or Dark Matter – So, I’m pretty much at a loss.

Then I started thinking about all of the stuff I have in my house…

***

I’m just arranging

And rearranging…

It’s all the same stuff.

Nothing new…

Just arranged differently…

It’s so disturbing to me

That the order of my things

Effects my mood

So severely. 

***

I have this need for more stuff…

It bothers me that I’m not above such obvious materialism. Yet, I can’t attribute the need to keep all of my stuff to one thing – Near ’bout everything I own has sentimental value. It feels wrong to let go of a memory.

I’m a sentimental hoarder.

A couple of months ago my dog accidentally broke my late Grandma’s lamp. I didn’t know Mary Donyce LePoint Rains – So the lamp felt like one of my ties to her. I bawled like a baby when the lamp broke. As I cleaned up the mess, I chanted to myself,

“It’s just a thing. You can’t take it with you.”

Over and over I said that to myself until the floor was all cleaned up. After that, I wanted to get rid of everything…’cause I’ve tied myself so deeply to the things that hold memories – So much so, that I literally cried over the loss of it.  I can’t live through great loss twice – Once with the actual person and secondly with the things that I tie to them.

I wonder if someone else has cried over that lamp…

If it’s sentimental value has been recycled over the years…

Reincarnated sentiment.

This is the stuff that I think about.

***

The thing is, it really is just all stuff. It’s all the same stuff that’s always been around – Just remade. At least, that’s how I see it.

My basic revelation is that

***

Nothing is new…

Nothing is mine…

Nothing can be lost…

It’s all just the same kind of different,

Over and over again.

***

I don’t want to spend my life worrying about the things that I have or don’t have…

I don’t want to spend my life arranging and rearranging stuff…

I don’t want to be sad that some material thing is gone.

***

Does matter multiply?

The things that matter do…

Love can grow…

It can change a heart…

It can give you hope…

It can satisfy a longing – A need – A dream.

Unseen matter multiplies…

It abounds..

It confounds.

***

I just wanted to share this with y’all – I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately…This is me – Just trying to grow – Trying to be better:)

AND…

This pseudo-science lesson has been brought to you by Becky M.

Now you see why I can’t homeschool my children.

XOXO, Beck

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