Retail therapy = Mission work.

I was shopping with my middle daughter the other day in a pretty hip store – I totally didn’t belong:) There’s so much stuff that I can hardly make a choice. I mostly leave empty-handed in these joints. But not my Bay Bay – She zoned in on a table with hand-made looking jewelry…

“Momma! These are SO pretty. Can we get them?”

One of the shop tenders makes her way over to us – Hoping to assist us in our decision-making process…

“Some of the money you spend on these goes to mission work in_____.”

I can’t remember where she said the money would go exactly, all I know is that I couldn’t bring myself to purchase the very pretty little bracelets.

***

The thing is, I didn’t need those bracelets – And I’m so jaded by charities and churches and whatever other organizations that promises to be trustworthy – Who knows where exactly the money I spent on those bracelets would have actually gone. I think the point of purchasing them would really have been to make me feel better about my contribution to the Kingdom Work – To humanity – When in fact I’ve done nothing but spend my family’s hard-earned money on another unnecessary item.

I have family and acquaintances that are, or have been, ON the mission field…it’s such a different landscape than the one painted for us by those pretty little bracelets and stylishly designed glasses and vegan Toms. What I’m trying to say is that mission work is a far more sacrificial investment than what I’ve been patting myself on the back for…

“I put a pair of glasses/shoes/etc. on a child in _______. Good for you, Becky. You’ve certainly done your part AND you got something that you can’t take with you out of the deal!”

It just really disgusted me the other day how I really was thinking that I was doing some good with the whole One-For-One thing. And I know that it’s not all for nothing – But there’s just so much more to it…to giving – To being a servant. There’s just so much more to drawing from the well of LIVING water…to trusting Jesus to give you strength and words and materials and a harvest field.

My point…Toms, Warby Parker, jewelry in a hip shop, etc., etc… is not my mission field. I am not a good person – Or doing my part by spending money on these things…getting a nicer version of them, even, than the real child/adult in need.

Before anyone starts getting upset at me like I’m judging or pointing the finger at them – Seriously, this is a personal epiphany that I’ve just chosen to share. I was convicted for using these, probably wonderful, charities as my mission field. I was personally convicted for feeling good about my contribution, while fulfilling my materialistic need for more stuff that I don’t need.

I’m still going to buy shoes and glasses from companies that aim to make the world a better place…I just won’t let it be my mission field. Giving cannot be done without receiving, but it is not the goal. It’s just not possible to be a servant – To be on mission – To sacrifice your time, talents, money, health, welfare – And not be richly blessed.

My goal: To consciously store up heavenly rewards, not earthly materials.

XOXO, Beck

 

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This Is What I’m Dealing With.

And all of the sudden she’s crying…

I’ve been telling her how she made me feel so insignificant…

How her sharp response sliced through my already thin skin…

And now she’s apologizing.

***

I’m such a jerk.

Always fighting…

Always trying…

To make you understand.

To make you see me for who I really am.

***

All of these thoughts go through my mind

The moment before she hands me a letter and says,

“This is what I’m dealing with.”

There’s so much hidden behind those tearful grey eyes…

She doesn’t need to have to manage my pettiness.

***

I’m such a jerk.

Always fighting…

Always trying…

To make you understand.

To make you see me for who I really am.

***

Can’t I love her enough

To just let her get away with

One little thing…

Not even one word gets past me.

***

I’m such a jerk.

Always fighting…

Always trying…

To make you understand.

To make you see me for who I really am.

***

But I promise I’ll try…

I’ll try to trust your love enough…

Enough to see beyond myself…

And not be another thing that you’re dealing with.