I’ve been walking in a straight line
For a bit now…
Perhaps it’s time to circle ’round
To the start again.
There’s a memory in photograph…
A dream of myself…
Of who I used to be.
***
I remember that she didn’t give a shit
What anyone thought of her…
She didn’t give a shit about your feelings
When it came to her own convictions…
She liked the word shit though…
This much hasn’t changed.
***
Her appearance was secondary.
She didn’t care what her reflection
Had to say about her…
No one had told her she was beautiful yet.
She cared about candles lighting up the dark…
Revealing the shadows in her heart.
***
Miles and miles ago…
Staring at the sunset was her peaceful place…
Creation creating closeness with her Creator.
Her feet took to the pavement
Taking her back and forth…
Back and forth.
Never getting far enough away…
The ending always the same.
***
I’m still staring into the sky…
Pondering how I can exist in His presence.
I’m still running back and forth
From start to finish.
Back and forth…
Back and forth…
***
I have learned how to give a shit about
Someone else’s convictions.
My silence does not equal agreement…
It just makes me, quite simply, considerate.
***
I’m circling around to the girl I once was…
To the girl I still am.
I like her.
She’s so terribly flawed…
She needs professional help, I fear.
Whatever.
***
This year I’ll find quiet moments,
Staring into the vastness above,
Wondering how I can exist and why.
I’ll run and think about home…
I’ll let my feet take me there.
I’ll circle ’round to that girl that needed
Candles…A pen…A notepad and her own thoughts.
I’ll back up, move forward and revolve.
***
XOXO, Beck
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