Few & Far Between.

It’s a feeling I get…I just gotta share my deepest, darkest secrets. I’m talking to someone close to me, half-listening to them, and I just have to disclose the secret that I’ve been harboring. If I don’t tell them – It will literally eat me alive…at least that’s the way I used to feel. What has changed? I guess I’m growing up.

About time, huh…seeing as how I’m officially in my mid-thirties, come two weeks from now:) Happy birthday to me! I’m so glad I was born. Seriously, I am. 🙂 When I was a kid, my mom would sit on the couch, after I’d been put to bed, and wait…She knew her little black-haired, guilt-ridden middle child would soon be making her confessional trek. Momma Joy was my priest for many a year.  I suppose that she still is, when need be.

I’ve learned that more times than not, the need I have to share my inner-mosts, is a selfish one. And that feeling I get…that rush of adrenaline – It’s not always the nudging of the Holy Spirit telling me to just, “Get it off your chest, Beck…” No. It’s me wanting to give the burden of my short-comings over to someone else to bare.

I feel sorry for the people that I have had to learn my lessons on…not my mom, though;) True story – I once got UP from my choir seat, after the preacher had said, “If there’s anyone that you need to forgive this morning, do it! Don’t wait…” I got up out my seat – In front of the entire church, mind you – And made my way up to the balcony to tell the girl, that had NO idea that I had issue with her, “I forgive you.” She looked at me like I was nuts. I mean, I think I was.

Geez.

Did I need to do that just because the preacher nudged me to? NO!!! Just because someone – Even someone you respect – says something that could POSSIBLY have something to do with your situation – It doesn’t mean that you have to act on their persuasion. It certainly doesn’t mean that you have to do exactly what they suggest. Oh my goodness, it has taken me a really long time to be objective with other’s suggestions. 

Listen, really listen, to your people when they talk to you…when they tell you about their fears…their feelings. It doesn’t have to be about you. Don’t take every single thing your people say and try to apply it to your own situation – Just listen and focus your energy on them. I’m learning to stifle my need to give my burdens over to others. Don’t get me wrong, I have people that know all of my truths…But they are few and far between.

I just had to share, y’all… XOXO, Beck

 

 

 

Showing up.

This past weekend I started painting a gift for one of mine and Michael’s mutual friends. He and his wife had expressed the slightest bit of interest in one of my pieces…so I got to work on one for them:)

While I was working on their gift, I started to think about our friendship.

I thought about how we met him when we were just teenagers. He was camp pastor and we were from a small no where town in  Northwest Louisiana. On the surface, we didn’t look like anything special, but God had a divine appointment set up. I know God intended for my future husband to meet Jeremy.

Michael’s Nanny had recently passed away and Jeremy was finally someone that he could have an honest conversation with about his feelings. Jeremy filled a void in Michael’s heart – And I truly believe that he was the person that God used to begin a healing in him. After that first encounter with him – He just stayed in our lives. Everywhere he moved…we visited. God seemed to have a string connecting us. We could never get too far from one another without sling-shotting back:)

I could tell you about all of the other ways that Jeremy has stayed a part of our lives and how he has been a CONSTANT friend…but what I really want to talk about is how he was one of the four brothers that showed up for Michael when his daddy died unexpectedly.

An ice storm hit the weekend Papa drew his final breath.

Monica was stranded in California…Thank the Lord that she had the LSU softball team’s coaches and parents there with her. Michael and Michelle were home, processing shock…I was in New Mexico, on my hands and knees in my sister’s kitchen – Praying for a miracle. I had hoped his life wasn’t really gone. God didn’t give us more time…but He did still answer my prayer for a miracle.

Our miracle came to us through people.

God set in motion the first of many miracles…He got Monica home within 48 hours…with her kids – In an ice storm, no less…He used His people to work this miracle. Jeremy was one of the men in Michael’s life that dropped everything and showed up for him. He drove all the way to us as soon as he found out. He weathered the storm, so to speak…He didn’t hesitate to get to Michael. Jeremy, along with another brother living in Baton Rouge…another living in Turkey and another living in New Mexico, travelled to be there with him. They showed up when he needed them. They didn’t leave his side – They were there when things got really real…

I had to ask myself, while I was painting and pondering,

“Would I be that good of a friend?” 

Would I get in my car and drive day and night to get to my friend? Would I fly across the world to just BE there? Let me tell you…that’s being a real friend – Showing up. God used Jeremy, along with COUNTLESS others, to be a miracle for my husband…for me…and for our family. For these gifts, I will forever be grateful.

XOXO, Beck

 

 

 

Chit Chattin’.

I just wanna blog. I have no idea what to talk about…hmmm – Let’s see…
Well, I was wanting to discuss something with y’all the other day, but I forgot what it was and then I was all, “Beck – It couldn’t have been that important if you forgot.” Then I just nodded to myself, “Yup…”
Then I thought about talking about how something I wanted, on a larger scale, to happen – Finally happened…LSU didn’t fire Les Miles. Listen, that was important to me. They really made themselves look like donkey butts…Thank the good Lord for LSU fans.
Then I thought about giving y’all a poem – but for the most part…you guys couldn’t care less about my innermost thought and feelings. I understand.
I don’t think anything significant happened this week that would get your heart a thumpin’…
Bay asked if we were gonna have presents this year since we were focusing on the birth of Christ.
Looking left, looking right…”Momma, will there be presents this year since we’re focussing on Jesus?”
Bless her precious heart! And yes, there will be gifts.
So…I pretty much just wanted to say a big ol’ HELLO to y’all…

Hello, there! 🙂
Hope you guys have had an interesting week so far!

XOXO,
Beck

*I ate egg rolls and watched Wallykazaam while typing this gem.