Well, I was gonna wait ’til the end of the week to post this blog…I thought that, certainly, I would have some more meat for my story telling – Then I thought to myself, “Self, that is just WRONG.” So, here goes! I’d like to share with y’all one of my most recent Mother of the Year award winning moments.
Maggie’s fish died. It was just over a month old, by the Moore household standard of fish age, that is. The fish is born when it’s exchanged for currency. Boom. SO…The fish died. Being the wonderful mother that I am, I decided to dispose of the deceased before my darling child’s last memory of it was…well, you know, dead on the bottom of the bowl…covered in some weird whitish slime. Okay, now you have a visual. So, I’m up at the buttcrack, cleaning the bowl and what not and what have you…a lovely start to my day – The nearest toilet was too many steps away, so – What’s a woman, cleaning out a dead fish’s tank to do? Use her brain. That’s what. So, I used my brain and disposed of the sucker…I garbage disposed poor, sweet, dead, Mollie the Fish.
I thought that I had dodged the bullet on explaining my fish disposal method. I did not. Two weeks after Mollie passed, Maggie saunters into the kitchen to gaze at her memorial bowl – Which, by the way, her father has filled back up with water and set the rocks and fake plant back in, just the way Mollie liked it…Suck up. She’s gazing into the lifeless home of her once beloved fish, looks up and asks her precious mother, “What did you do with the fish, Momma?” I then, without a word, walk over to the sink…turn the water on – and flip the garbage disposal switch. *
“That’s what I did.”
Mother. Of. The. Year.
*I’m a horrible person.