I found joy and peace in the offering of my gift…I wanted nothing in return – save His approval.
Then I enrolled in an institution that would strive to teach me how to be better at being me…Teach me how to perfect my art. They tried to train me to be like everyone else. My cherished gift was suddenly spotlighted on a stage – judged and picked apart, piece by piece. I was critiqued by someone more skilled than I would ever hope to be – at least that’s what I was told.
You see, before all of my so-called education, I found complete joy through my imperfect gift. There was a certain perfection found in amongst all of my flaws – not because I was anyone special, but because I knew that I was loved by the listener… I sometimes feel like I’m living in a constant state of recovery from that experience. I’m learning how to appreciate the simplicity of me again.
Why was I inspired to put this out there?
I got my feelings hurt by someone…It took me back to the days when I was looking to please people – back when my instructors were trying to teach me to sing the perfect note with the proper and balanced amount of vibrato…I never could quite master the necessary techniques. It troubles me that I’ve so quickly reverted back to that girl. That’s not who I want to be. What I need to say to my friends and readers is – YOU DO YOU. Who cares if your outfit matches perfectly – or your handbag is from the last season Target line – or that your song is pitchy and indulgent? Are you happy? Are you living a life filled with joy? Do you find satisfaction in simply pleasing the Maker of the universe – the Maker of you? Do you find peace in His presence? Do you sing for Jesus? Do you sing for yourself? Do you wake up and say, “God, good morning!” Are you dancing with your kids…being silly…loving with all of your heart?
If my God can accept this mess that is me – this imperfect Becky…I can too. Now don’t get it twisted – I am all about bettering myself. I’ve got a long way to go and I truly desire to be the best me that I can be – I just want my reasons for getting there to be more substantial…More than just appearances. I’m learning to measure my success by His set of standards – not someone else’s. Don’t overly concern yourself with the thoughts and actions of others…In the end, It’s between you and God. Live your life…Sing off key – run through the park like a maniac – eat cake…everyday if you want to;) We have one chance on this earth…Let’s make the most of it.
All my love, Beck