A few things I’ve learned while parenting…

Okay folks…In light of all the intelligent and wisdom-filled blogs I’ve read recently concerning parenting – blogs that have either made me want to pat myself on the back or put my head in the toilet and flush repeatedly – I have decided to compile my own list of knowledgable parenting nuggets! I have an eight year old, a five year old and a two year old. My wisdom regarding children does not exceed the age of eight…I use the term “wisdom” rather loosely. Here goes…

* If you don’t cut the crust off of their sandwiches – they eat around it…Save yourself a step. 😉

* The more toys that you buy for your kids – the more they want and/or presume they should get. I can’t even bring my kids to Target anymore without them expecting a gift. I’ve done this to myself.

* My messy house – my messy car…They really are directly related to my state of mind…And I’m okay with that.

* To quote Gee, “They won’t be in diapers and with a pacifier when they’re twenty.” Don’t compare one of your child’s milestone developments to another’s…Every child REALLY is different.

* DO NOT FORCE POTTY TRAINING! They will hate the toilet if you do this – AND they will still expect a skittle for YOUR efforts.

* Teach your kids that with each new morning, God gives us the gift of a fresh start. If you enlighten your kids to this important truth and live it out with them, you will benefit from this practice just as much as they do in the long haul. We, as parents, mess up just as much – if not more – than our sweet babies…Forgiveness is a learned behavior that needs to be taught and practiced daily.

* Your kids need a night away from you just as much as you do from them.

* What? You don’t see that boo boo on your daughter’s leg? Put the bandaid on it anyway. It helps.

* You don’t automatically “grow up” when you have your first child – It takes time. I was still the same people-pleasing person after I had Maggie as I was before having her. It took EVERYTHING in me not to ask her if she was “still mad at me” the first few times she got upset at my choices in disciplining her…I remember being so surprised at the simple fact that I was still me – Still the girl that didn’t want anyone upset with her. I’ve learned over the past eight years of parenting to accept my kids’ emotions. I can’t control how my children react to my discipline – My peace has to been found in Christ Jesus, not my child’s momentary feelings. They are their own personalities, separate and unique from my own. They have the right to be upset…to be respectfully and quietly upset. 😉

* Benadryl is a gift from God. Cherish and use it wisely.

* My mother consoled me with these words of wisdom several years ago…They are imprinted on the walls of my mind. “We mommas are only human, Beck.” I will always cherish this truth.

* If you place one cookie on your toddler’s dinner plate – maybe put it right smack dab in the center of the food that you really want him to eat…I GUARANTEE you that the kid will accidentally eat the real food that he thought he didn’t want. Works every time.

* Make your big mistakes when they’re too young to remember what you did…I don’t think this is actually possible, but it would be nice! 🙂

I encourage you mommas and daddies to make your own lists of parental wisdom that you’ve acquired over the years! It’s fun to share in this journey 🙂

Love y’all! Beck

This is not intended for smart blondes.

That moment when you realize that there’s an EXTREMELY good reason that you pay to get your hair cut…All of the sudden you look in the mirror and realize that you’ve trimmed a very clean set of “thuggish” sideburns. A perfect V shaped set.

Or maybe the time when you decided that maybe you’ll try Biore strips just ONE more time – perhaps the makers of this magical blackhead remover will have modified their product slightly over the past ten years or so…PERHAPS the user of the product would have decided to read the instructions before slowly – and quite painfully – peeling the product off of her face before rewetting it – Ouch…To answer the question formed within a statement – No. Not one single blackhead was removed. I want…I mean, SHE – the consumer – probably wants her $5.00 plus tax back.

And then there’s the problem of being a black-headed female living within a society that, to phrase it mildly, frowns upon even a single facial hair that strays from either her eyebrows or eyelashes. That’s right, I said it…Stray facial hair. Female. You don’t think Sally Hansen is losing money on “easy to use” facial wax and creme bleaches do you? Creme bleach – You think it’s a good idea, until it’s not. I’m just saying, I’ve heard that some areas of the face are more sensitive than others. Rashes could possibly occur. I’m sure there’s a creme you can purchase for that unacceptable facial predicament as well. Those female gender specific companies are conspiring against we consumers…In order to obtain a socially acceptable – clear and clean face – We will give them our money AND our trust. They can’t help if you people don’t read the dern instructions and leave the creme on for more than the eight minute allotted bleaching time! Why do you folks have smart phones if you can’t even set the timer? Geez.

Who would do all of these things in the span of twenty-four hours and own up to it? An idiot.

With love,

Your favorite Idiot XOXO 😉